Sunday, May 31, 2009

The kitties


Ok, so I know I previously said my plan was to get a dog this weekend. After being thoroughly advised against it by the shelter, I decided on a cat. Unfortunately, being the total sucker I am, I couldn't get just one and put in an application for two of them. And they are beautiful!!! And so so sweet. I'm totally smitten with my two potential new housemates.
Moe (his name may get changed) is 10 weeks old and all black. He's just gorgeous and sweet. He sort of picked me, by sticking his little paw out and "petting" me. And when he purrs, it's like there's a little motor in him.
Mischief is the gray tuxedo with the most gorgeous whiskers. She's 2 years old and a total cuddle bug. I fell in love with her yesterday and had to go back for her today. She's just a beautiful girl.
Now all that's left is getting my application for the two of them approved. And I have to restrain myself from buying every cat toy, food bowls, scratching posts, etc until I know for sure that they're mine. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

A wee little survery

The point of this survey is to answer the questions only with music lyrics. I'm a bit curious to see how I do...

1. Are you male or female?
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls,girls,
girls, girls, girls,
girls!
-Beatie Boys "Girls"

2. Describe yourself
She's sun and rain, she's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, you best leave her alone
'Cause she'll rage just like a river
Then she'll beg you to forgive her
She's every woman that I've ever known.
-Garth Brooks "She's Every Woman"

3. What do people think of you?
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
-Jimmy Eat World "The Middle"

4. Describe your last relationship?

Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up
-The Prodigy "Smack my bitch up"

5. Describe your current relationship
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
'Cause if summer is here,
I'm still waiting there;
Winter is here,
And I'm still waiting there.
-Bob Marley "Waiting in Vain"

6. Where would you like to be now?
Way down here you need a reason to move
Feel a fool running your stateside games
Lose your load, leave your mind behind, baby James
Oh, Mexico
It sounds so simple I just got to go
The suns so hot I forgot to go home
Guess Ill have to go now
-James Taylor "Mexico"

7. What do you think about love?
Love is a many splendored thing,
Love lifts us up where we belong,
All you need is love!
-Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman Moulin Rouge "Love Medley"

8. How's your life?
There ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees, I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed, there ain't nothing in this world for free.
I know I can't slow down, I can't hold back though you know I wish I could, oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked, until we close our eyes for good.
-Cage the Elephant "Ain't no rest for the wicked"

9. If you had one wish, what would you ask for?
Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
-Bob Marley "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

10. Some words of wisdom
Some days you gotta dance
Live it up when you get the chance
'Cause when the world doesn't make no sense
And you're feeling just a little to tense
Gotta loosen up those chains and dance
-Dixie Chicks "Some Days You Gotta Dance"

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Faith


I am catholic. Not one of those fanatical and self-righteous catholics that feels every person living in a 3rd world country needs to give up their pagan lifestyle and convert to be saved. Instead I'm a very liberal one who firmly believes in woman's and gay rights. Controversial, I know, so sue me. But the general concept is the same. We all believe in Jesus Christ (how can you not when there is archeological evidence that he walked the earth, the resurrection however is a different story) and in God. I do also believe that God has some say in how life plays out and that I don't need to know everything and to just trust that it will all be ok. But on days like today, I wonder if I can truly say I have faith.
I spent my day caring for an infant fighting for her life against an incredibly aggressive cancer and brain infection. In medical terms, she doesn't even have a prognosis. It's just a waiting game to see what will give out first. And yet knowing this, that death is a certainty, I spent my day doing everything to keep her alive. Watching for any little sign that she was heading towards brain death and doing my damndest to reverse it.
As like any decent medical team would, we had a meeting with the family to determine whether or not we should withdraw all care. Should we stop everything we're doing now and just let her go on the path that she will eventually take anyway? Or keep going with all the agressive care we're doing now? Or maybe just keep things status quo and not do anything more if things take a turn for the worse? As one of the medical team, I guess I should have some answers. But all I know is that I HATE flashing a light in her eyes every hour to see if there will be a reaction this time. I HATE pinching and prodding her every hour too see if pain will be enough of a stimulus to get her to react. But I hate it even more when its not.
Her parents are good kind people with unshakable faith. They believe with all of their being that in the hands of God their child will be ok. It's humbling. To sit in a room with them after having see the monster growing inside their child on CT scan, and to see them be able to smile and be comforted in their faith baffles me. I can't say what I would do if it was my child. And I pray that I never have to. But these people touched me. They are articulate and intelligent and so comfortable and confident in their beliefs. Am I wrong? Are we as medical professions callous and uncaring by even broaching the topic of withdrawing care? I don't know. But I do know that that child, regardless of the quality of life she is living, is a true miracle. She has come into the world and touched people. She has accomplished in a matter of weeks what most people strive to do in a lifetime. Regardless of what happens, she has not lived in vain.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Newby

So, I have never blogged nor journaled in the past. And frankly, I can't think of why I am starting this as I am nothing more than your average Joe (perhaps it would be more correct to say Jane). So please, bear with me while I get the hang of this.
A little background, I'm 27 and newly living on my own and free from parental units (late bloomer I know). I'm a nurse in a very busy pediatric intensive care unit (and notice it's pediatric not neonatal) and I LOVE my job. There are days it sucks and where I wish I never had to set foot into a hospital again, but I don't know who I would be if I wasn't a nurse. So much of me changed once I got my license, and I would never go back.
Now, the apartment. It is scarcely furnished, but every piece I do have in here, I adore. It's truly a wonderful and magical thing to have your own space with your own stuff and just your company to deal with. I may work with people everyday, but in general I prefer my own company to anyone else's. Not that I'm a loner or anything, I'm actually quite sociable. But there is no equivalent in the world to peace and quiet after a long day.
I suppose I will be testing this theory at the end of the week when I go to meet some dogs that are up for adoption. I'm one of those weird girls who love animals, even the creepy crawly ones that usually draw a scream out of their unsuspecting victims. However, I have never owned a pet. I'm a bit scared that I won't take care of it properly or that I won't have the patience for it. As said before, I like being alone, and it worries me that that may surpass my caring for the animal. Bizarre, I know, a nurse worrying about not properly caring for something. So in order to practice I got plants (laugh now, I know it's ridiculous). To justify this action, let me explain myself. A plant is a living, breathing thing that needs proper care to thrive. They need water and sunlight and pruning. All of these things I have done, and my plants are thriving nicely. So I think I could handle a dog. The one catch being that the plants don't make a peep. That may be the only glitch in my plan...
Keep your fingers crossed for me!